[ After all of that, Roxas needed a break, a desperate one from the commotion. He was still out of sorts from even doing anything, and he also felt tired.
He was honestly kind of afraid of what the future held. But, he kept that mostly to himself while they were out there - but then there was a knock at his door, spurring him into action and making him hurry to it.
Once he opened it, he saw Rean, and stepped to the side silently if he wanted to come in. ]
[Honestly, Rean's pretty tired too and it shows in how pale he looks as he stands at the door. There were a lot of unexpected elements in this trial and he's not really sure what to make of it either. But when Roxas opens the door, he manages to muster up a weak smile.]
Hey. Sorry for disturbing you. [He nods as he enters, taking an empty seat.]
I'm... not exactly where to start, actually. But since it came out... do you mind if I ask you about your role?
Roxas is just glad it's kind of over. Kind of because it doesn't quite feel really over with the specter of the game hanging over them, but he might as well can take what he can get. ]
You mean The Magistrate? What kind of questions do you have?
[ He'll rub his hand all over his face a little. At least he knows Rean is as tired as he is. ]
Well... mostly just about what kind of role it is. We know it can overturn a decision, but... if that's the case, what was stopping you from using it when the Medic was voted off?
Today's been really difficult on him today - he'd almost lost someone close to him, gotten into arguments, and apparently gotten attacked. And still, he's not ready for someone to ask him this of all questions.
His face kind of drains of all color too. ]
I thought about it, but...I thought I had to save it just in case if we ended up voting wrong again and it was someone more...
[ He hates himself for saying it and he can't even look at Rean anymore. ]
[Oh... From the moment he sees Roxas' face, it's clear to him that he made a misstep. Not only that: there was an implication in there that he didn't mean to add, and he falters before he finally responds, head low.]
...I see. [...] Um... sorry. I didn't mean to imply you did something wrong or anything like that. Especially with how things ended up turning out.
[ It's okay, Roxas' mind probably made incredible leaps and bounds at how bad that looked for him when there was an earlier incident and he didn't do anything. So he just relaxes a bit. ]
No, it's okay... I think I was kind of expecting someone might be a little mad with me because of that.
[ ... even after all of that, yeah. ]
It's a good question to ask, since you didn't know it had limitations.
[His gaze falls to the floor here as his expression turns into a pensive one.]
Still, I should've read into it more. It's a difficult burden to bear, and I don't think anyone could blame you for it. As much as I don't like the idea of picking and choosing who gets to live like that, it's because of this game.
[ His fingers tightly clutch onto his pants, bundling up the fabric somewhat within them, and then he relaxes, releasing a small sigh. He didn't realize how much it had stressed him out until now, but at least some of the color is returning to his face. ]
Yeah, it's...it really wasn't easy. I was kind of scared that I would've chose someone innocent too, and then...I don't know what I would've done.
[ Probably cry his eyes out rip. ]
Choosing whether someone lives or dies...I've never done it before, and I'm kind of grateful I don't have to again.
[Upon seeing the strain in Roxas' posture and features relax, Rean smiles slightly and pads over to the other boy, ruffling his hair a little bit.]
It's a helpful role, but... it can definitely be a double-edged sword, so I understand feeling relieved. Though, I have to admit I'm still reeling at how the Doppelganger-- no, how Cinque stepped in to help. Couldn't have done it without her.
[With hair successfully ruffled, Rean straightens up and returns back to his seat.]
Yeah, it would've been an uphill battle for sure.
[At the second statement though, he puts a hand to his chin as he considers what to say.]
Well, you did save someone pretty important to a lot of the people here. But if you have something on your mind or you just feel like you need to talk it out... I'm always willing to listen.
[ Rean had a point - Akira was important to so many people, it really wouldn't be so strange to be thanked. Though, he's not used to anyone thanking him for anything, and the situation was so surreal...that might've been it, really. ]
I've been kind of thinking about the execution tomorrow, if I'm being honest. And what comes after. If only because there's just so much that we need to be considering on top of everything else.
[But tomorrow, huh. There's a frown upon mentioning the execution, with brows furrow in thought as he speaks.]
Yeah. It'll be problematic if we can't get rid of the Barghest tomorrow. We'll just have to hope that we can manage to search up a way in the time we have left. What are your thoughts on 'after', though?
Let's hope that we do actually find something. [ He doesn't say that with any snark, it's actually...hopeful. ] Well, Cinque's revealed herself to have Doppel inside of her, then there's the third, finding out more about the monsters in general, what they really want, and the whole 'well the Resort's immune system is probably having issues so we're in a bit of trouble if we don't fix that', to start off.
We're going to need to somehow find a way to tackle all of these.
I think finding out more about the Resort's immune system is priority right now. If Cinque can give us a better idea of what the monsters have in mind, that'd be ideal, but leaving this place ill just sounds like a ticking time bomb for us.
Still, we've got the manpower, so splitting up tasks between all of us would probably be a good idea.
Yeah. I wanna talk over some things with her too, so hopefully that'll give us more to work with. I'm still not really sure what to think about her revealing herself like that, but... I guess we'll see when we get there.
[Relatable tho. It seems like there's always something happening her, for good or for ill.]
It'll give something for people to focus on too, so hopefully that can help keep people's spirits up a little.
I hope so too. It's been hard for me to even know how to feel about that either - she's my friend, but...it's a little hard to just suddenly be all like "Okay, I guess she is also the Doppelganger" and cool with it.
[ That probably sounded silly, and he is rubbing the back of his head a bit, but yeah. ]
Yeah, and getting some information out of that would help with that too.
[ Except that it ends up being a flop in the future but they don't know that yet, pssh. ]
[ Roxas had been one of the few people who wasn't on the scene to watch Atsushi die, that being because he was handling things with making sure Vanitas would be okay, and after what he suspected that there was foul play but...by the time he'd arrived on the scene -
Atsushi was dead, and Rean was exposed as the Jorogumo.
He'd needed some time after all of that, to himself (kind of, since Vanitas and him share the same room.) But after some more time had elapsed, the blond had decided to drop in and do a check on Rean during the day, giving his door a knock. ]
[There's a muffled 'Yeah, I'm here' in response before anything else.
His body still feels like lead and every part of him aches, but he manages to force himself out of bed, wobbling over to the door and turning the doorknob. It's probably not unexpected considering the extent of his injuries, but he takes longer than normal to do this, looking pale and exhausted when he finally opens the door.]
[ Surprise, he has a small collection of things. Some snacks (hint: sea salt ice cream) and some stuff like bandages as well as disinfectant as well among ... more snacks (crackers and juice) ]
[That's certainly an odd assortment, but he definitely wouldn't complain about the bandages and disinfectant. And the ice cream... well, maybe that wouldn't be that bad.]
Yeah, sure. I imagine you've got a lot of questions, huh. [He moves out of the doorway slowly and over to one of the tables, slumping into a chair. It's probably not the most elegant movement, but he'll blame it on fatigue later.]
I don't really know where to start. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kind of worried...and not just because of what I found out about you, but because everyone else did too.
[ Roxas kind of smiles a little sheepishly at that even if it fades soon enough, but the blond also follows Rean to the chair and the table, placing the stuff easily upon it.
Then he'll hold out one of the sea salt ice creams to Rean. ]
...Can you tell me a little bit about being the Jorogumo? I've been kind of wondering how did you find out you were like that at all in the beginning?
[He blinks at the ice cream before accepting it, giving it a bit of a curious look but not biting into it quite yet.]
It's... not really about being the Jorogumo. I am the Jorogumo; I took this body to be my host about a month ago, so there wasn't anything to find out. I knew from the very beginning that the Outsider existed, and that he was hurting the resort.
[ He falls silent, listening to what Rean's said, and it's so weird hearing it come out of his mouth, but Roxas will just casually unwrap his ice cream. ]
I think I get it. It's like how Cinque and Doppel are really just the same now.
[ Or something... ]
Do you know why the Resort only asked you guys to go after the Outsider, though? They probably could've asked the other people staying around to try to do something about him too.
[He shakes his head a little in response to the first bit.]
I don't think it's quite the same as that. They're kind of cooperating together, but for me... I can look through his memories, but I'm not Rean Schwarzer. I'm just the Jorogumo. He hasn't really existed these past few weeks, not really.
[Although as for the Outsider...]
I don't know about the others so much, but there was some personal incentive. I figure that's why the other guests weren't asked, but that's only speculation on my part.
...So he's gone? Or just there but you've completely taken over? Kind of like the Barghest but not really as much as a jerk. Even if you...killed people.
[ It's not the first time he's made friends with someone who went around and killed someone under orders, however. Though the revelation had his head spinning for quite a few hours and still did. ]
I guess that'd make sense. I really wish they didn't force us into a game like this--you feel the same way, right?
I don't know if 'gone' is the right word, but he's not here right now.
[He looks down at the unopened package of sea salt ice cream, a slight frown creasing his face as he thinks of how to answer.]
...To be honest, I didn't mind at the beginning. I needed to eat somehow, so it was a pretty good exchange as long as I kept myself from being found out. But it's pretty apparent by now that the resort's situation is only getting worse, and killing you guys off doesn't really accomplish anything aside from reducing your manpower -- manpower that we could be using to find the Outsider.
[ Roxas can get the whole "he's not here right now" easy enough without having to ask to explain, but hearing the rest of that only brings up mixed feelings inside of him. Making him lower the ice cream treat he had just began starting at, blue eyes moving from him to it instead.
He hadn't known the kind of answer he expected, really. ]
So...that's why? I guess that's a way to look at things, and you're not wrong that continuing with the game won't help with that.
[ ... ]
Can you be honest with me about something? Did you...ever - still - consider any of us your friends?
[ That's probably a stupid question for him to ask - with all of what Rean, no the Jorogumo's said, and the things he's done, most of which Roxas had reservations about. But here he was talking with him anyway.
But he wants to know...he has to know, even if the answer he receives is going to be painful, it's better to know the truth. ]
[He really should have figured. It's a given that people would want to know if the person they spent the past month with was real or fake -- if he was simply a distorted reflection of the person known as Rean Schwarzer or something else entirely.
However, it still doesn't prepare him for answering Roxas' question. So he stays silent, thinking it through and taking his time. When he feels ready to answer, his voice is soft and hesitant.]
Not at first. But... [He closes his eyes.] I don't know. I do like you guys, and it isn't as if I didn't enjoy hanging out with everyone. It's just... complicated.
[ It was really one question on his mind, and while Roxas is sure he'll just keep probably calling him Rean for now, at the heart of everything he just...wanted to know if there was ever any real bonding underneath it all. Whether it was through as "Rean" or "Jorogumo" ...
Still, as Roxas listens to what Rean - or the Jorogumo - says, it's something to take in.
Then, the blond just takes a breath, and releases it. ]
Thanks for answering honestly. [ ... ] I know you had your reasons for doing what you did, and that in the beginning you didn't even mind, and hearing that was kind of hard. But I was wondering if there was at least something else too. Even if you were pretending to be "Rean", the memories we created together weren't really because of him, they were because of you and me. So, I wanted to know if you'd cared about those - and the ones you created with the others - at all.
I don't know much about how you guys are or anything - why you need to eat people and stuff, and I wish you didn't have to, even if it sounds like how vampires are in a way with that. But, if people are willing to give the Outsider a chance, or even the people in the Foundation, I don't see why some of us shouldn't give you a chance either. [ He can see why some of them wouldn't, but... ] So, I think I might want to try to do that...because to me, you're still my friend.
[ Roxas doesn't smile, not yet. It hurt knowing that Rean wasn't exactly "Rean" and he'd killed people, but it didn't mean that the experiences they shared weren't real. And maybe, he wants to know if there is more to him than what others think, for his own reasons - which he thinks there may be based upon Rean's words. ]
[As Roxas says his piece, there's a blink of surprise before his expression twists into something guilty, uncertain and distinctly uncomfortable. And for a long, long moment, he remains silent as he stares into the wood grain of the table, as if that would somehow him figure out what he should say in this situation. When he finally speaks, he doesn't look up.]
It's not like I don't appreciate the sentiment, but... are you sure about this? The game's continuing this week, which means one of us is going to have to kill again.
I thought about it before I came here. I'd already decided to continue being friends with Cinque when she kind of revealed herself and we had a talk awhile back, so... it also feels kind of weird if I didn't at least give you a chance either. If we didn't talk at all, I think it'd probably be a different story.
[ He...really has kind of braced himself for things getting ugly as much as he can. Roxas personally doesn't think it'll be enough even if he's tried to prepare himself mentally for it, because he's really not the type of person to believe everything will fall into place easily. But he's going to try as best as he can to help. ]
If...we stop it before the end of the week comes, maybe we won't have to worry about that. And if we don't...
[ Roxas takes a breath, his gaze finally raising to look at Rean, before looking down back at his treat with a sigh. ]
I don't know. But, there's no point in giving up without trying, right?
[He lets Roxas' words sink in, gaze never straying from the table. If they could end things by this week, huh... it really would be ideal, but it seems like they're still missing far too many pieces to do that. But in this case, they really do have no choice but to move forward, no matter what.
Just take things day by day.]
...Yeah. You're right. [He finally looks up, eyes meeting Roxas'.] Thanks for reminding me of that, and... thanks for giving me a chance. I don't know how things will turn out in the end, but... I'll keep at it, so I don't embarrass a friend.
[ Roxas then looks up feeling the gaze on him and finally he continues tasting his treat a little in between their talk. Things weren't going to be easy, he knows this, but that's why they have to try - it's something he's actually had to re-learn while he was here of all places, but it's not a bad thing to. ]
It's no problem...I think I'm just happy to know that you're willing to give it a try too.
[ He'll finally give Rean a small smile. ]
We're all going to need to do our best to see this through.
[ Regardless of what the outcome of their efforts are. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
13thpromise) wrote2018-12-08 05:00 am
week 3 post-trial
He was honestly kind of afraid of what the future held. But, he kept that mostly to himself while they were out there - but then there was a knock at his door, spurring him into action and making him hurry to it.
Once he opened it, he saw Rean, and stepped to the side silently if he wanted to come in. ]
no subject
Hey. Sorry for disturbing you. [He nods as he enters, taking an empty seat.]
I'm... not exactly where to start, actually. But since it came out... do you mind if I ask you about your role?
no subject
[ It's been one hell of a long day, hasn't it?
Roxas is just glad it's kind of over. Kind of because it doesn't quite feel really over with the specter of the game hanging over them, but he might as well can take what he can get. ]
You mean The Magistrate? What kind of questions do you have?
[ He'll rub his hand all over his face a little. At least he knows Rean is as tired as he is. ]
no subject
Well... mostly just about what kind of role it is. We know it can overturn a decision, but... if that's the case, what was stopping you from using it when the Medic was voted off?
no subject
Today's been really difficult on him today - he'd almost lost someone close to him, gotten into arguments, and apparently gotten attacked. And still, he's not ready for someone to ask him this of all questions.
His face kind of drains of all color too. ]
I thought about it, but...I thought I had to save it just in case if we ended up voting wrong again and it was someone more...
[ He hates himself for saying it and he can't even look at Rean anymore. ]
...I can't use it again, Rean.
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...I see. [...] Um... sorry. I didn't mean to imply you did something wrong or anything like that. Especially with how things ended up turning out.
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No, it's okay... I think I was kind of expecting someone might be a little mad with me because of that.
[ ... even after all of that, yeah. ]
It's a good question to ask, since you didn't know it had limitations.
no subject
Still, I should've read into it more. It's a difficult burden to bear, and I don't think anyone could blame you for it. As much as I don't like the idea of picking and choosing who gets to live like that, it's because of this game.
no subject
Yeah, it's...it really wasn't easy. I was kind of scared that I would've chose someone innocent too, and then...I don't know what I would've done.
[ Probably cry his eyes out rip. ]
Choosing whether someone lives or dies...I've never done it before, and I'm kind of grateful I don't have to again.
no subject
It's a helpful role, but... it can definitely be a double-edged sword, so I understand feeling relieved. Though, I have to admit I'm still reeling at how the Doppelganger-- no, how Cinque stepped in to help. Couldn't have done it without her.
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I'm really grateful she did step in. If she didn't I'm sure I would've really messed up...we really owe a lot to her.
[ ... ]
People have been also thanking me after doing that and I'm actually not sure how to feel.
no subject
Yeah, it would've been an uphill battle for sure.
[At the second statement though, he puts a hand to his chin as he considers what to say.]
Well, you did save someone pretty important to a lot of the people here. But if you have something on your mind or you just feel like you need to talk it out... I'm always willing to listen.
no subject
[ Rean had a point - Akira was important to so many people, it really wouldn't be so strange to be thanked. Though, he's not used to anyone thanking him for anything, and the situation was so surreal...that might've been it, really. ]
I've been kind of thinking about the execution tomorrow, if I'm being honest. And what comes after. If only because there's just so much that we need to be considering on top of everything else.
no subject
[But tomorrow, huh. There's a frown upon mentioning the execution, with brows furrow in thought as he speaks.]
Yeah. It'll be problematic if we can't get rid of the Barghest tomorrow. We'll just have to hope that we can manage to search up a way in the time we have left. What are your thoughts on 'after', though?
no subject
[ ... ]
Let's hope that we do actually find something. [ He doesn't say that with any snark, it's actually...hopeful. ] Well, Cinque's revealed herself to have Doppel inside of her, then there's the third, finding out more about the monsters in general, what they really want, and the whole 'well the Resort's immune system is probably having issues so we're in a bit of trouble if we don't fix that', to start off.
We're going to need to somehow find a way to tackle all of these.
no subject
I think finding out more about the Resort's immune system is priority right now. If Cinque can give us a better idea of what the monsters have in mind, that'd be ideal, but leaving this place ill just sounds like a ticking time bomb for us.
Still, we've got the manpower, so splitting up tasks between all of us would probably be a good idea.
no subject
[ Roxas plans on doing that next just after he kind of ... settles for a bit after the commotion. Today has been A lot. ]
Since we have people who can do a lot of things, I don't think it'll be too hard. It'll probably prevent too many from being in one place, anyway.
no subject
[Relatable tho. It seems like there's always something happening her, for good or for ill.]
It'll give something for people to focus on too, so hopefully that can help keep people's spirits up a little.
no subject
[ That probably sounded silly, and he is rubbing the back of his head a bit, but yeah. ]
Yeah, and getting some information out of that would help with that too.
[ Except that it ends up being a flop in the future but they don't know that yet, pssh. ]
week 4 sunday
Atsushi was dead, and Rean was exposed as the Jorogumo.
He'd needed some time after all of that, to himself (kind of, since Vanitas and him share the same room.) But after some more time had elapsed, the blond had decided to drop in and do a check on Rean during the day, giving his door a knock. ]
Rean? Are you in there?
no subject
His body still feels like lead and every part of him aches, but he manages to force himself out of bed, wobbling over to the door and turning the doorknob. It's probably not unexpected considering the extent of his injuries, but he takes longer than normal to do this, looking pale and exhausted when he finally opens the door.]
Hi Roxas. You... wanted to talk?
no subject
Yeah, I wanted to talk.
Can I come in?
no subject
Yeah, sure. I imagine you've got a lot of questions, huh. [He moves out of the doorway slowly and over to one of the tables, slumping into a chair. It's probably not the most elegant movement, but he'll blame it on fatigue later.]
no subject
[ Roxas kind of smiles a little sheepishly at that even if it fades soon enough, but the blond also follows Rean to the chair and the table, placing the stuff easily upon it.
Then he'll hold out one of the sea salt ice creams to Rean. ]
...Can you tell me a little bit about being the Jorogumo? I've been kind of wondering how did you find out you were like that at all in the beginning?
no subject
It's... not really about being the Jorogumo. I am the Jorogumo; I took this body to be my host about a month ago, so there wasn't anything to find out. I knew from the very beginning that the Outsider existed, and that he was hurting the resort.
no subject
I think I get it. It's like how Cinque and Doppel are really just the same now.
[ Or something... ]
Do you know why the Resort only asked you guys to go after the Outsider, though? They probably could've asked the other people staying around to try to do something about him too.
no subject
I don't think it's quite the same as that. They're kind of cooperating together, but for me... I can look through his memories, but I'm not Rean Schwarzer. I'm just the Jorogumo. He hasn't really existed these past few weeks, not really.
[Although as for the Outsider...]
I don't know about the others so much, but there was some personal incentive. I figure that's why the other guests weren't asked, but that's only speculation on my part.
no subject
[ It's not the first time he's made friends with someone who went around and killed someone under orders, however. Though the revelation had his head spinning for quite a few hours and still did. ]
I guess that'd make sense. I really wish they didn't force us into a game like this--you feel the same way, right?
no subject
[He looks down at the unopened package of sea salt ice cream, a slight frown creasing his face as he thinks of how to answer.]
...To be honest, I didn't mind at the beginning. I needed to eat somehow, so it was a pretty good exchange as long as I kept myself from being found out. But it's pretty apparent by now that the resort's situation is only getting worse, and killing you guys off doesn't really accomplish anything aside from reducing your manpower -- manpower that we could be using to find the Outsider.
no subject
He hadn't known the kind of answer he expected, really. ]
So...that's why? I guess that's a way to look at things, and you're not wrong that continuing with the game won't help with that.
[ ... ]
Can you be honest with me about something? Did you...ever - still - consider any of us your friends?
[ That's probably a stupid question for him to ask - with all of what Rean, no the Jorogumo's said, and the things he's done, most of which Roxas had reservations about. But here he was talking with him anyway.
But he wants to know...he has to know, even if the answer he receives is going to be painful, it's better to know the truth. ]
no subject
However, it still doesn't prepare him for answering Roxas' question. So he stays silent, thinking it through and taking his time. When he feels ready to answer, his voice is soft and hesitant.]
Not at first. But... [He closes his eyes.] I don't know. I do like you guys, and it isn't as if I didn't enjoy hanging out with everyone. It's just... complicated.
no subject
Still, as Roxas listens to what Rean - or the Jorogumo - says, it's something to take in.
Then, the blond just takes a breath, and releases it. ]
Thanks for answering honestly. [ ... ] I know you had your reasons for doing what you did, and that in the beginning you didn't even mind, and hearing that was kind of hard. But I was wondering if there was at least something else too. Even if you were pretending to be "Rean", the memories we created together weren't really because of him, they were because of you and me. So, I wanted to know if you'd cared about those - and the ones you created with the others - at all.
I don't know much about how you guys are or anything - why you need to eat people and stuff, and I wish you didn't have to, even if it sounds like how vampires are in a way with that. But, if people are willing to give the Outsider a chance, or even the people in the Foundation, I don't see why some of us shouldn't give you a chance either. [ He can see why some of them wouldn't, but... ] So, I think I might want to try to do that...because to me, you're still my friend.
[ Roxas doesn't smile, not yet. It hurt knowing that Rean wasn't exactly "Rean" and he'd killed people, but it didn't mean that the experiences they shared weren't real. And maybe, he wants to know if there is more to him than what others think, for his own reasons - which he thinks there may be based upon Rean's words. ]
no subject
It's not like I don't appreciate the sentiment, but... are you sure about this? The game's continuing this week, which means one of us is going to have to kill again.
no subject
[ He...really has kind of braced himself for things getting ugly as much as he can. Roxas personally doesn't think it'll be enough even if he's tried to prepare himself mentally for it, because he's really not the type of person to believe everything will fall into place easily. But he's going to try as best as he can to help. ]
If...we stop it before the end of the week comes, maybe we won't have to worry about that. And if we don't...
[ Roxas takes a breath, his gaze finally raising to look at Rean, before looking down back at his treat with a sigh. ]
I don't know. But, there's no point in giving up without trying, right?
no subject
Just take things day by day.]
...Yeah. You're right. [He finally looks up, eyes meeting Roxas'.] Thanks for reminding me of that, and... thanks for giving me a chance. I don't know how things will turn out in the end, but... I'll keep at it, so I don't embarrass a friend.
no subject
It's no problem...I think I'm just happy to know that you're willing to give it a try too.
[ He'll finally give Rean a small smile. ]
We're all going to need to do our best to see this through.
[ Regardless of what the outcome of their efforts are. ]