[ That sounded pretty important to him. For a moment, he's quiet on his own end. ]
If Ventus doesn't want you two to be reunited, then there's really nothing stopping you from being your own person. I don't think that's really a bad thing.
[ AKA in a manner that has him... uncomfortable, in ways that he can't put a finger on. His voice shifts a little, something practiced entering his tone. It's like he's said... something at least along these lines, more times than even he could remember. ]
[ Roxas will finally move to sit on his bed, getting comfortable on the dark sheets and time to be real with him...telling him something he's not going to probably tell anyone else. ]
I'm only telling you this because I was pushed into merging with my Other too, and eventually, I accepted that was how it was. Everyone needed "Sora" [ ... that isn't said so friendly-like ] and in the end, that's what they got. It was like that for about maybe a year until...now.
[ For awhile, he was even okay with that, losing his sense of identity and he has no hard feelings against Sora now. But now that he's had his chance to be his own person again? He...realized how much he missed that. ]
So that's why while I don't know who fed you that "salvation" line, or how true it really is, I don't know if I'd agree with that. It's not like you really need him now, right?
It's a lot to take in, a lot to process at all, but... he tries to focus. He tries to do so calmly, and yet his mind is trying to focus on some key points, rather than on the bigger part of it all.
Roxas is only half a person, too (which has him wondering if that's where "Nobody" comes from, not that he can begin to be sure/know why).
Roxas is still trying to talk like he could begin to fully understand what Vanitas feels. ]
[ Honestly, he probably can't fully understand everything that Vanitas feels ... it's similar and maybe things added up in a similar way, but, their experiences were fundamentally different.
He may be hoping that they were similar enough to reach some sort of understanding, though. ]
Because I'm his Nobody.
[ Since that explains literally...everything. Okay, okay, no he really isn't going to leave it at that. He may as well try to explain his relation to Sora and what a Nobody is at the same time so he can just get it over with. ]
I'm from what's left when Sora lost his heart to the darkness. I'm something that should've never existed and technically don't when it comes down to it. But because I was so important to Sora, apparently without me, he couldn't ever wake up again. [ So, yeah. ] Part of me thinks they could've found another way if they wanted, but I guess I won't know for sure.
[ Roxas thought he was really over it, but, he just sort of presses his lips together, and looks at his hands in his lap. ]
Ansem had me trapped in this fake version of Twilight Town, had someone help create fake memories for me, and had basically found a way to lead me down to where Sora was sleeping, at the right time for them. The place was like some kind of lab-like area underneath the town. He was also kept in this weird...circular-shaped thing? It was weird.
I also couldn't really go anywhere else at that point, since I didn't really have a way to escape, so all that was left was to just go ahead and merge with him.
[ That is kind of the abridged version...but there was really a lot. ]
[ There's tension in his form, even as he works to keep that from growing.
... For a while, he doesn't say anything. And, even when he does speak, it's a tad bit quieter than usual, as though he's stuck on a thought during the same moment he's talking. ]
So, they made a game out of reuniting you guys, and then you were forced into going along, no matter what. [ h e h ] Kind of like this one we're in now.
Yeah. [ He smiles slightly, though it's a humorless one. ] The irony really isn't lost on me, so ... it's been "fun". I guess at least this time I'm not being forced to merge with someone, since in order to get me here they had to probably tear me from Sora somehow. Which I'm really not sure how they managed, and I don't really know if I want to guess how they might've.
[ Fake memories...fake twilight town...that strange dream. He falls silent, eyebrows furrowing. He wonders... ]
Maybe this all is really too much like what Ansem pulled. I wouldn't be surprised there'd be a shady gathering of people somewhere too.
[ There's a moment of silence on his part regarding that, so...good job getting him to actually really think about it, Vanitas. ]
... It is. I'd just given up everything after living a life of my own, and it didn't feel right. Even if I accepted it, after it was all said and done, I think deep down in my heart...I didn't like giving it all up just so everyone else who loved Sora could be happy.
I found that quick out when I first opened my eyes and realized I could walk around, talk to people - you name it. I was pretty happy.
And I feel ... well, like myself. I would feel really free if it weren't for this place.
[ There was a part of him who had a moment of wishing he hadn't been brought out of Sora just to play a mafia game, though. It wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. ]
[ Even saying that much... He's tense as he looks away, glaring a bit. He feels such complicated feelings towards that. Why is there such a swell of disappointment merging with the jealousy?
Not to mention, just what in the hell is so special about this Sora person?
[ Roxas looks like he has a bone to pick with that. But he can't just assume he knows how Vanitas feels exactly, even if he's sure he can understand part of it. Honestly, he'd only intended on asking simple questions, but now...it looks like he's getting deeper than he realized. All the same, he can't say he regrets it, even if it's a difficult matter. ]
...What does being separated from Ventus feel like?
Vanitas has never thought of words as things that could have him reacting so strongly - at least... not words that are coming from someone other than the Master. One hand briefly moves to rest against his chest as he looks away, hand dropping back to his side.
Although he doesn't give a verbal response, the flicker of several negative emotions over his face might be answering for him. ]
[ Roxas isn't expecting it to be that bad, not to the extent of having Vanitas' physical action and literally vacillate through what appeared to be a myriad emotions, neither of them positive. ]
...It's really that bad for you, isn't it?
[ ... ]
Maybe...I don't know what it feels like, but I still want to try to understand.
[ It's like a sharp buzzer, somewhere in the back of his mind. This feeling of vulnerability is something he's only felt in his early days, and he... isn't okay enough with it to just let it keep going, as it is.
His tone is sharp, even as he manages to keep his expression steady now. A distance enters his gaze, in spite of the fact that he's looking right at Roxas. ]
You understanding it won't change anything. Just let it go.
...I don't know if it will or not, but if I just give up now, I think that's the only way to know for sure nothing can be changed.
[ Roxas has a hard time believing that, evidently. Letting it go just sounds like he'd be abandoning Vanitas - and he pauses at the thought. But it's true, isn't it? It sounded like their situations were similar, even if he'd never feel the way Vanitas did on being separated from someone's Other.
And how could he leave it alone after hearing after that? ]
[ His teeth clench together a bit more, grinding a little before he finally speaks again - this time it's just shy of getting practically growled out. ]
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13thpromise) wrote2018-11-26 03:20 pm
no subject
You're his darkness?
[ That's not entirely what he expected, despite the yellow eyes and all. ]
If you two reunited...that would be it, right? Only one of you would really have a body at that point - or Ventus would. Just like...
[ He trails off a little. It really sounds just like the situation with him and Sora, except he wasn't ever his Other's darkness. ]
no subject
[ He nods. ]
In the end, that detail wasn't the important part.
[ Now he's going silent... His arms are back to being folded over his chest, his gaze sharpening at the floor. ]
no subject
[ That sounded pretty important to him. For a moment, he's quiet on his own end. ]
If Ventus doesn't want you two to be reunited, then there's really nothing stopping you from being your own person. I don't think that's really a bad thing.
no subject
You talk a lot like him.
[ AKA in a manner that has him... uncomfortable, in ways that he can't put a finger on. His voice shifts a little, something practiced entering his tone. It's like he's said... something at least along these lines, more times than even he could remember. ]
To attain salvation, we must become one.
no subject
[ Roxas will finally move to sit on his bed, getting comfortable on the dark sheets and time to be real with him...telling him something he's not going to probably tell anyone else. ]
I'm only telling you this because I was pushed into merging with my Other too, and eventually, I accepted that was how it was. Everyone needed "Sora" [ ... that isn't said so friendly-like ] and in the end, that's what they got. It was like that for about maybe a year until...now.
[ For awhile, he was even okay with that, losing his sense of identity and he has no hard feelings against Sora now. But now that he's had his chance to be his own person again? He...realized how much he missed that. ]
So that's why while I don't know who fed you that "salvation" line, or how true it really is, I don't know if I'd agree with that. It's not like you really need him now, right?
no subject
It's a lot to take in, a lot to process at all, but... he tries to focus. He tries to do so calmly, and yet his mind is trying to focus on some key points, rather than on the bigger part of it all.
Roxas is only half a person, too (which has him wondering if that's where "Nobody" comes from, not that he can begin to be sure/know why).
Roxas is still trying to talk like he could begin to fully understand what Vanitas feels. ]
What exactly made Sora your "Other", Roxas?
no subject
He may be hoping that they were similar enough to reach some sort of understanding, though. ]
Because I'm his Nobody.
[ Since that explains literally...everything. Okay, okay, no he really isn't going to leave it at that. He may as well try to explain his relation to Sora and what a Nobody is at the same time so he can just get it over with. ]
I'm from what's left when Sora lost his heart to the darkness. I'm something that should've never existed and technically don't when it comes down to it. But because I was so important to Sora, apparently without me, he couldn't ever wake up again. [ So, yeah. ] Part of me thinks they could've found another way if they wanted, but I guess I won't know for sure.
no subject
He ignores how it feels to hear Roxas say he's something that shouldn't have existed. ]
You said you were forced to reunite...
[ He's tilting his head to the side a little. ]
How?
no subject
Ansem had me trapped in this fake version of Twilight Town, had someone help create fake memories for me, and had basically found a way to lead me down to where Sora was sleeping, at the right time for them. The place was like some kind of lab-like area underneath the town. He was also kept in this weird...circular-shaped thing? It was weird.
I also couldn't really go anywhere else at that point, since I didn't really have a way to escape, so all that was left was to just go ahead and merge with him.
[ That is kind of the abridged version...but there was really a lot. ]
no subject
... For a while, he doesn't say anything. And, even when he does speak, it's a tad bit quieter than usual, as though he's stuck on a thought during the same moment he's talking. ]
So, they made a game out of reuniting you guys, and then you were forced into going along, no matter what. [ h e h ] Kind of like this one we're in now.
no subject
Yeah. [ He smiles slightly, though it's a humorless one. ] The irony really isn't lost on me, so ... it's been "fun". I guess at least this time I'm not being forced to merge with someone, since in order to get me here they had to probably tear me from Sora somehow. Which I'm really not sure how they managed, and I don't really know if I want to guess how they might've.
[ Fake memories...fake twilight town...that strange dream. He falls silent, eyebrows furrowing. He wonders... ]
Maybe this all is really too much like what Ansem pulled. I wouldn't be surprised there'd be a shady gathering of people somewhere too.
no subject
[ His jawline tightens after he asks that... And there's hesitation, but... he manages the question with a straight face. ]
What do you feel, being separated from him?
no subject
... It is. I'd just given up everything after living a life of my own, and it didn't feel right. Even if I accepted it, after it was all said and done, I think deep down in my heart...I didn't like giving it all up just so everyone else who loved Sora could be happy.
I found that quick out when I first opened my eyes and realized I could walk around, talk to people - you name it. I was pretty happy.
And I feel ... well, like myself. I would feel really free if it weren't for this place.
[ There was a part of him who had a moment of wishing he hadn't been brought out of Sora just to play a mafia game, though. It wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. ]
no subject
[ Even saying that much... He's tense as he looks away, glaring a bit. He feels such complicated feelings towards that. Why is there such a swell of disappointment merging with the jealousy?
Not to mention, just what in the hell is so special about this Sora person?
He's going to be falling quiet... ]
no subject
...What does being separated from Ventus feel like?
no subject
Vanitas has never thought of words as things that could have him reacting so strongly - at least... not words that are coming from someone other than the Master. One hand briefly moves to rest against his chest as he looks away, hand dropping back to his side.
Although he doesn't give a verbal response, the flicker of several negative emotions over his face might be answering for him. ]
no subject
...It's really that bad for you, isn't it?
[ ... ]
Maybe...I don't know what it feels like, but I still want to try to understand.
no subject
His tone is sharp, even as he manages to keep his expression steady now. A distance enters his gaze, in spite of the fact that he's looking right at Roxas. ]
You understanding it won't change anything. Just let it go.
no subject
[ Roxas has a hard time believing that, evidently. Letting it go just sounds like he'd be abandoning Vanitas - and he pauses at the thought. But it's true, isn't it? It sounded like their situations were similar, even if he'd never feel the way Vanitas did on being separated from someone's Other.
And how could he leave it alone after hearing after that? ]
sob
Let it go.
it's okay, roxas is a stubborn bby
[ Stubborn as stubborn comes... ]
You can leave now if you want, though.
no subject
... But, then he slides a hand into his pocket. ]
I didn't need your permission to leave, you know.
[ Just. Making that clear before he does, in fact, turn to go. ]