[ Roxas is ultimately incredibly tired, and while Vanitas stands to lean against the wall, he'll take a seat on the bed, braving the outdoor weather with a determined air. A tired, determined air but one nonetheless. ]
Earlier, actually.
[ He doesn't know whether it's worth asking given the answer Vanitas gave to him. He'll sigh anyway. ]
Could you explain to me, even if I wouldn't understand? Or...do you still not want to?
[ Roxas catches it...with his head, so he's sitting there in the blanket kind of all silly-like, and his blue eyes just widen...
He can't help it, but he's soon moving the blanket around him, and for a moment, he's smiling softly - it's the first smile of the night after everything. It's kind of tired-looking too, but there's some more light to his eyes.
Part of him has even acknowledged that yeah he was even attacked, but...
Whatever. Roxas has fought and been attacked by the people he's cared about before, it really wouldn't be the first time? A small gesture just means so much to him coming from Vanitas. ]
I wouldn't mind staying here for awhile, if it's like this. We could always head off to my room later, right?
He's... quiet, again. With a soft sigh, he sits down next to Roxas. He's just going to look at the floor. Eventually, he asks, expression weary and voice a tiny bit tense: ]
[ At that, words are hard for Roxas to gather because he didn't really expect Vanitas to focus on that, bringing the blankets tighter to him, and wanting to suddenly hide underneath them all. ]
...I don't know - or maybe I do.
[ Could he put what "this" is into words? It feels like his heart's pounding, and for a moment he feels as if he were out there again, the stress of someone's life in his hands. But for something that feels so selfish, that makes him sometimes feel disingenuous, and he lets the blanket fall a little more loose.
The reminder that Vanitas was so willing to throw it all away come around, and the smile kind of fades away. ]
Everytime you do something like this...I like it a lot - and even when you don't, there's already been a lot to. And right now, it doesn't feel so cold. That's what I mean.
[ It's as close as he's been to admitting, and even saying this much is risky. There's so much that could go wrong. ]
[ A bit of silence comes between them, the cold and the way his heart races making his face flushed - he could blame it mostly on the cold because of that. But it was really less that, as his blue eyes hung quietly on Vanitas' figure for a moment, wondering about the other's reaction.
Should he tell him? The timing never felt right, but was there ever a right time in a place like this? ]
...What're you thinking about right now? That maybe it sounded... kind of stupid?
[ And the words falling out of his mouth before he could stop them. Sometimes he wishes he didn't kick himself in the foot sometimes. ]
[ Better than what he'd expected, but...at the same time, he can't but smile a little to himself. ]
I think I can understand why you'd say that.
[ At least a little. Something else kind of occurs to him, and he wonders...it might be a bit too much, but at the same time there's something he wants to give a try. He's not sure if he can make it happen either, or if Vanitas will follow, but the worst thing is he can say no, and Roxas can just shrug and move on. ]
...Vanitas, can you come over here, closer to me for a moment?
Hm. Roxas stares at him a little in sudden, awkward silence...yeah.
This is going real well. ]
... how about I just come over to you instead?
[ Roxas moves slightly with the blankets, then at the last moment tries to see if he can catch him in said blankets so they're both in them. This is probably one of the stupidest ideas he's ever had and if it goes badly he has no one to blame by himself. ]
[ There's a blink... Confusion is momentarily clear. He masks it with a faint smirk and clear look of "seriously?" on his face as he just. Stares at Roxas. ]
... You wanted to share the blanket. When I'm in this many layers?
[ Roxas is smiling brightly like that was definitely part of the plan (he totally forgot Vanitas was wearing so many layers, why this) ]
It's probably really warm now, isn't it?
[ He says that but mentally sighing because there was a point he wanted to prove, but it might be missed with Vanitas in so many layers. Oh well...at least he's close by him, and he does move slightly so their shoulders do touch. ]
[ He studies Roxas for a long moment, after that...
It is really warm - a little too warm, maybe? That's clearly the reason his face is heating up as much as it is . . .
Vanitas' lips press together a little tighter as he looks away, brow tense. He doesn't move away when Roxas presses their shoulders together. He's going to to try distracting from how awkward he just acted, now: ]
Y-yeah. I think I needed you to kind of...warm me up a little more.
[ Roxas thought that sounded innocent enough, though it didn't keep his face from slowly and definitely warming for sure. He can't quite look at Vanitas either, not like this, he's doing such a good job here, totally. ]
Why the hell do those words have his face feeling a little hotter? He glares at the wall, just briefly, all the while forcing his breaths to come out slower and calmer than they're wanting to.
It's fine?
It's fine. ]
Good to know I'm so useful to you, then.
[ That comes out with some bristle. Confusion isn't... something he's ever liked. And when he looks over at Roxas, some of that just happens to build all the more. A quiet growl slips out as he turns towards the blond a little, eyes narrowed. ]
Any plans to tell me what's really going on, here?
[ Roxas turns his head to look back at Vanitas the same time he does at him because how much more awkward can this even get? His words are drown out by the question, and internally he panics. He made such a mistake by being so loose with his words that of course Vanitas is going to question it.
He can't avoid it, or...well, he could, but this is really one of those things that'd make it excessively awkward. What should he do?
Why didn't he ask for advice? He should've asked someone for advice! Then again he kind of wasn't sure he was in love until now. Is it really love, though? This is really the worst timing. But if he says something and then Vanitas hates him...damnit, this isn't one of Tsumugi's dating sims.
Roxas takes a breath, actually being the first one to look away for once. ]
...I'll tell you. Just...listen all the way through, okay?
[ He is quiet as he listens to the answer, his expression growing tense for just a split second. After a deep breath, he just gives a vague wave and a nod.
Roxas basically told him not to talk until done, right? Well... ]
[ "If I had a heart, you think I could love somebody?"
Roxas takes a sharp breath and then releases it, trying to prepare himself for this. All of this, but...he just isn't sure if he'll be able.
It's only because he's trying to steel himself for this going horribly wrong. ]
After awhile of being around you, I kind of realized that I liked you a lot. Even if you were sometimes a jerk, and just generally...you - but being a jerk wasn't all there was to you. I wanted to really by your side, and I don't know how to really describe it, but I know what it is. It's part of why I reacted that why when you said you wanted to offer yourself up.
I became scared, upset, and I panicked. I don't know what I'd have done if I lost you, because...I-I love you. Both as a friend, and more than that.
[ Roxas wondered if people were supposed to cry during their confessions, because he could feel tears falling down his cheeks. ]
[ It's all enough to have him wanting to roll his eyes, on instinct... To seem as though the words aren't causing that semi-familiar weird feeling to flood the pit of his stomach.
... At first, anyway. There's a tense exhale as the word "love" comes into play. That's- far from the word he expected to be hearing.
Dimly, he recalls that mission they'd been on together - all he'd been thinking about, then, was how stubborn Roxas was, forcing himself through handling all those stupid locks. He remembers how focused he'd been on just getting out of the damn labs...
... Now he's still focused on getting out of here and he can't, for the life of him, figure out when he'd started using the word "we" so much, in his own head. It's stupid, right? He's being an idiot.
But that isn't what's important right now. ]
Love...?
[ Vanitas is staring hard for a moment, his face somehow ridiculously hot, even if he can't quite sort through everything he's feeling right this moment. And what he feels when he sees the tears isn't... exactly helping? It's just causing even more confusion to swell within him, which is followed by a huge helping of increased frustration. Frustration that he instinctively shoves down as he looks away again, brow tense. ]
[ Roxas wasn't exactly a mind reader, but for all of his efforts and everything, he wasn't someone that had high expectations of many situations. Even now, even after everything they've been through - or maybe it was because of what he'd been through. Still, he looked over at Vanitas, eyes on him as he utters that word, wondering what he was to say of it, and already Roxas was looking for traces of something in his expression.
...A habit he'd gotten more into doing because of who he was dealing with, honestly. Instead, any marked shifts were unnoticeable and the other is looking away...saying those things.
The blond just sits there staring stupidly for a moment as he feels a few more fall down his face, and there's a swell of embarrassment...but it looks like he didn't get it as worse as he thought he would. ]
You know I'm going to object to that...right?
[ There's maybe a slight smile that goes away when he tries to wipe at his eyes. ]
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13thpromise) wrote2018-11-26 03:20 pm
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... but he turns and walks further into the room. ]
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After that, there is the sound of a small sneeze, but then he'll continue to follow Vanitas further into the room. ]
...It's colder in here than before.
[ Let's start off with that, sure. ]
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Yeah... It's fine, though.
[ A pause... ]
What did you want to talk about?
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Earlier, actually.
[ He doesn't know whether it's worth asking given the answer Vanitas gave to him. He'll sigh anyway. ]
Could you explain to me, even if I wouldn't understand? Or...do you still not want to?
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... and then walks over to the bed. He lifts one end of the blanket and just. Tosses it over Roxas' head. ]
Unless you'd rather go somewhere warmer, first...
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He can't help it, but he's soon moving the blanket around him, and for a moment, he's smiling softly - it's the first smile of the night after everything. It's kind of tired-looking too, but there's some more light to his eyes.
Part of him has even acknowledged that yeah he was even attacked, but...
Whatever. Roxas has fought and been attacked by the people he's cared about before, it really wouldn't be the first time? A small gesture just means so much to him coming from Vanitas. ]
I wouldn't mind staying here for awhile, if it's like this. We could always head off to my room later, right?
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He's... quiet, again. With a soft sigh, he sits down next to Roxas. He's just going to look at the floor. Eventually, he asks, expression weary and voice a tiny bit tense: ]
Like what?
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...I don't know - or maybe I do.
[ Could he put what "this" is into words? It feels like his heart's pounding, and for a moment he feels as if he were out there again, the stress of someone's life in his hands. But for something that feels so selfish, that makes him sometimes feel disingenuous, and he lets the blanket fall a little more loose.
The reminder that Vanitas was so willing to throw it all away come around, and the smile kind of fades away. ]
Everytime you do something like this...I like it a lot - and even when you don't, there's already been a lot to. And right now, it doesn't feel so cold. That's what I mean.
[ It's as close as he's been to admitting, and even saying this much is risky. There's so much that could go wrong. ]
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He doesn't know why that last bit has him feeling so. Weird? Why is he tense? Why is his chest doing something strange? Why...
... a lot of things, really.
For now, he doesn't say anything. After staring at Roxas for a moment, he looks away. ]
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Should he tell him? The timing never felt right, but was there ever a right time in a place like this? ]
...What're you thinking about right now? That maybe it sounded... kind of stupid?
[ And the words falling out of his mouth before he could stop them. Sometimes he wishes he didn't kick himself in the foot sometimes. ]
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[ It doesn't make any sense to him, really. ]
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I think I can understand why you'd say that.
[ At least a little. Something else kind of occurs to him, and he wonders...it might be a bit too much, but at the same time there's something he wants to give a try. He's not sure if he can make it happen either, or if Vanitas will follow, but the worst thing is he can say no, and Roxas can just shrug and move on. ]
...Vanitas, can you come over here, closer to me for a moment?
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... Why?
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Hm. Roxas stares at him a little in sudden, awkward silence...yeah.
This is going real well. ]
... how about I just come over to you instead?
[ Roxas moves slightly with the blankets, then at the last moment tries to see if he can catch him in said blankets so they're both in them. This is probably one of the stupidest ideas he's ever had and if it goes badly he has no one to blame by himself. ]
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... You wanted to share the blanket. When I'm in this many layers?
[ Yet he's not moving away... ]
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[ Roxas is smiling brightly like that was definitely part of the plan (he totally forgot Vanitas was wearing so many layers, why this) ]
It's probably really warm now, isn't it?
[ He says that but mentally sighing because there was a point he wanted to prove, but it might be missed with Vanitas in so many layers. Oh well...at least he's close by him, and he does move slightly so their shoulders do touch. ]
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It is really warm - a little too warm, maybe? That's clearly the reason his face is heating up as much as it is . . .
Vanitas' lips press together a little tighter as he looks away, brow tense. He doesn't move away when Roxas presses their shoulders together. He's going to to try distracting from how awkward he just acted, now: ]
... Were you that cold, Roxy?
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[ Roxas thought that sounded innocent enough, though it didn't keep his face from slowly and definitely warming for sure. He can't quite look at Vanitas either, not like this, he's doing such a good job here, totally. ]
...And I think it worked really well.
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Why the hell do those words have his face feeling a little hotter? He glares at the wall, just briefly, all the while forcing his breaths to come out slower and calmer than they're wanting to.
It's fine?
It's fine. ]
Good to know I'm so useful to you, then.
[ That comes out with some bristle. Confusion isn't... something he's ever liked. And when he looks over at Roxas, some of that just happens to build all the more. A quiet growl slips out as he turns towards the blond a little, eyes narrowed. ]
Any plans to tell me what's really going on, here?
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[ Roxas turns his head to look back at Vanitas the same time he does at him because how much more awkward can this even get? His words are drown out by the question, and internally he panics. He made such a mistake by being so loose with his words that of course Vanitas is going to question it.
He can't avoid it, or...well, he could, but this is really one of those things that'd make it excessively awkward. What should he do?
Why didn't he ask for advice? He should've asked someone for advice! Then again he kind of wasn't sure he was in love until now. Is it really love, though? This is really the worst timing. But if he says something and then Vanitas hates him...damnit, this isn't one of Tsumugi's dating sims.
Roxas takes a breath, actually being the first one to look away for once. ]
...I'll tell you. Just...listen all the way through, okay?
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Roxas basically told him not to talk until done, right? Well... ]
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Roxas takes a sharp breath and then releases it, trying to prepare himself for this. All of this, but...he just isn't sure if he'll be able.
It's only because he's trying to steel himself for this going horribly wrong. ]
After awhile of being around you, I kind of realized that I liked you a lot. Even if you were sometimes a jerk, and just generally...you - but being a jerk wasn't all there was to you. I wanted to really by your side, and I don't know how to really describe it, but I know what it is. It's part of why I reacted that why when you said you wanted to offer yourself up.
I became scared, upset, and I panicked. I don't know what I'd have done if I lost you, because...I-I love you. Both as a friend, and more than that.
[ Roxas wondered if people were supposed to cry during their confessions, because he could feel tears falling down his cheeks. ]
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... At first, anyway. There's a tense exhale as the word "love" comes into play. That's- far from the word he expected to be hearing.
Dimly, he recalls that mission they'd been on together - all he'd been thinking about, then, was how stubborn Roxas was, forcing himself through handling all those stupid locks. He remembers how focused he'd been on just getting out of the damn labs...
... Now he's still focused on getting out of here and he can't, for the life of him, figure out when he'd started using the word "we" so much, in his own head. It's stupid, right? He's being an idiot.
But that isn't what's important right now. ]
Love...?
[ Vanitas is staring hard for a moment, his face somehow ridiculously hot, even if he can't quite sort through everything he's feeling right this moment. And what he feels when he sees the tears isn't... exactly helping? It's just causing even more confusion to swell within him, which is followed by a huge helping of increased frustration. Frustration that he instinctively shoves down as he looks away again, brow tense. ]
I'm not worth crying over... idiot.
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...A habit he'd gotten more into doing because of who he was dealing with, honestly. Instead, any marked shifts were unnoticeable and the other is looking away...saying those things.
The blond just sits there staring stupidly for a moment as he feels a few more fall down his face, and there's a swell of embarrassment...but it looks like he didn't get it as worse as he thought he would. ]
You know I'm going to object to that...right?
[ There's maybe a slight smile that goes away when he tries to wipe at his eyes. ]
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Of course you are... You're a stubborn idiot, like that...
[ There's a sigh as he shakes his head. ]
Emphasis on the 'idiot' part...
[ After a moment passes, he's looking to the floor. ]
Seriously, what about Cinque? Or Tsumugi...? [ a dry, bitter laugh ] Of all the-... Out of everyone, you're seriously gonna go and love... me.
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